perspective gains introspect

a new perspective. That's what traveling is all about, seeing and learning. But I have discovered that these perspectives become significant when its channeled into introspection.

So far my year in Korea has helped me to grow up, a lot. Its helped me to know what I want out of life, and how to achieve it.

I stopped writing blogs and wrote more in my sketchbook. For a while I was feeling really out of place in Korea. I felt like I failed to make significant connections. That I'd failed to make positive changes. And I wasn't even enjoying myself.

My thoughts were about why I came to Korea. And what I was trying to escape from in the states. I wanted to get away from the modernized society, with its money driven people who are ignorant to the sufferings of the world. People who care more about pop culture than their own families. People who are so wrapped up in these sitcom fantasy worlds, they don't have their own values, dreams and goals. I left because I wanted to be knowledgeable and make a difference in the real world.

This is what I wrote down in my sketchbook on March 8th...

" Who doesn't live in a superficial reality? A fantasy world?

Every life in all global situations that I can imagine are removed from the realities of the world. Maybe the one who suffers the most. People who are starving and homeless. Maybe they would know the harshest realities of the world. But they would have hope for a better life. Or atleast envy. The one who knowingly suffers the least and is still not happy, who can they envy? Then what hope is there?

To be knowledgeable and happy, is it possible?

For me to hate lives that are based on fantasy is as irrational as a hatred of hope. What gives each of us hope is different.

My hopes are ridiculous. I hope to make the world a better place and live in a hut and be surrounded in natural beauty and love people and be loved unconditionally, and create things and play with animals.

And no one is telling me how to get there. "

Whala! Significant introspection. In the last paragraph I summed up everything that's important to me. It's what I've always known and who I'll always be. And almost even more important is that I told myself why I haven't been working toward the life I want. It's because "No one is doing it, it must be ridiculous, and I don't know how."

Things are changing. And I think I may be headed down the right path this time. I'm thinking about doing a 7 week internship at an organic farm in Thailand. And then seeing where that takes me. my heart fills with hope at these new possibilities. :)